Dating your best friend can be an amazing experience, but there are several things you should be aware of and take into account. Before you start thinking in this direction, you should consider several factors to determine if it is the right decision for both parties involved. Also, you need to realize all the pros and cons of this. So, let’s talk about if dating your best friend actually works. And if so, how to get the best of it.
When does dating your best friend make sense?
In some cases dating your best friend will be a wonderful experience and will make perfect sense. Here are some key points that will help you understand if that is your case.
Compatibility
The foundation of any healthy relationship is compatibility. Ask yourself if your best friend shares your values, interests, and goals. If you both have similar views, the relationship is more likely to last.
Communication
Good communication is essential in any relationship, and it is especially important when dating your best friend. If you already have an established friendship, you likely already have a strong foundation of open and honest communication.
Trust
Trust is crucial in any relationship, and it is especially important when dating your best friend. You likely already have a high level of trust built up between you.
Similar expectations
It is important to discuss your expectations for the relationship before taking serious steps. Are you both looking for a casual dating experience or a more serious commitment? Make sure your expectations align before making a move.
Potential for loss
While dating your best friend can be a great experience, it also comes with the risk of potentially losing the friendship if things go wrong. Consider this risk and make sure you are both willing to accept the potential consequences before trying it out.
Timing
Timing is important in any relationship, and it is especially important when dating your best friend. If one of you is in a different place in life, such as a new job, moving to a new city, or dealing with personal issues, it may not be the right time to start.
Comfort level
When dating your best friend, you may already be comfortable with each other, but it is important to consider how you will feel in more intimate or romantic situations. If either of you feels uncomfortable with the idea of being physically or emotionally intimate, it may not be the right decision to date.
If you have “yes” answers to all these factors then dating your best friend makes perfect sense.
Advantages of dating your best friend
Dating your best friend has some undeniable advantages.
- Familiarity. When dating your best friend, you already have a strong foundation of familiarity and comfort with each other. This can help make the transition from friendship to relationship smoother.
- Trust. If you already have a strong friendship, you likely already have a high level of trust. This trust is an essential component of any healthy relationship.
- Communication. If you already have an established friendship, you likely have open and honest communication. This can help reduce misunderstandings and make the relationship stronger.
- Shared experiences. When dating your best friend, you already have a shared history and experiences. This can bring you closer together and help you build a strong connection.
- No surprises. Probably, you already know each other well, which can help reduce the stress, awkwardness, and uncertainty that often come with dating someone new.
- Support system. Best friends make great partners because they can also serve as a support system for each other. They can provide comfort, encouragement, and understanding when needed.
- Fun. Most likely, you already have a built-in sense of humor and understand each other’s quirks and habits. This can make the relationship more enjoyable and bring you even closer together.
So, indeed, there are plenty of advantages in building a relationship coming from a friendship.
Disadvantages of dating your best friend
But there are some serious disadvantages of dating your best friend, that you should consider.
- Risk of damaging the friendship. Dating your best friend comes with the risk of potentially damaging the friendship if things do not work out. This can be especially difficult if the relationship ends badly and can lead to a permanent loss of the friendship.
- Increased pressure. The relationship can feel more pressure because of the importance of friendship. This can lead to increased stress and anxiety in the relationship.
- Fear of ruining the relationship. Also, there can be a fear of ruining the relationship and losing the friendship. This fear can cause self-doubt and insecurity in the relationship.
- Difficulty adjusting to a new dynamic. It can be difficult to adjust to the new dynamic of the relationship. You may have trouble transitioning from a platonic friendship to a romantic relationship.
- Unbalanced expectations. You may have unbalanced expectations for the relationship. For example, one person may want a more serious commitment while the other may want a casual relationship.
- Potential for misunderstandings. There is a potential for misunderstandings to occur. This can be especially true if there is a lack of clear communication about expectations and boundaries.
- Risk of losing independence. There is a risk of losing independence and becoming too closely tied to each other. This can lead to an unhealthy dependence on the relationship.
It is crucial to consider these potential drawbacks before making the decision to date your best friend. And even more important to talk through them with your future romantic partner before taking any serious steps. For instance, you can talk about all the above-mentioned risks, establish rules, agree upon giving it a try, and figure out ways to go out if something goes wrong.
How to tell your friend that you want to try dating
Sometimes, it is hard to start a conversation like that. Even with your best friend.
But here are some phrases you can use to offer to date your friend.
“I’ve been thinking about us a lot lately, and I’ve realized that I have feelings for you. Would you like to explore a romantic relationship with me?”
“I value our friendship, but I can’t help but think that there could be something more between us. Would you like to give dating a try?”
“I know we’ve always just been friends, but I’ve realized that I have deeper feelings for you. Would you be open to the idea of dating?”
“I’ve always felt a strong connection with you and I think we could have something special together. Would you be willing to take a chance on us?”
“I’d love to take our relationship to the next level and see if we could be more than just friends. Would you be open to dating and seeing where this could go?”
Regardless of how you choose to approach this, it is important to be honest, direct, and respectful. Make sure to listen to your friend’s response and respect their decision, whether it is positive or negative.
What if it goes wrong?
As it was previously mentioned as in any other relationship you may feel that it makes no sense to continue. And it is quite important to talk this through with your partner in advance, so it is not a surprise for both of you. When you feel you should stop your romantic relationship but still want to keep your friendship, here are some phrases you can use.
“I think it’s become clear that dating just isn’t working out for us. But I value our friendship too much to let this change that.”
“I appreciate the effort we both put into this, but I think it’s best if we just go back to being friends. I hope we can still have the same strong bond that we had before.”
“I think it’s important for us to be honest with each other and acknowledge that this isn’t the right fit as a couple. But I still see a lot of value in our friendship and hope we can maintain that.”
“I don’t want to force something that isn’t there. Let’s focus on our friendship and put dating aside for now.”
“I think we should go back to just being friends and put this romantic aspect aside for the time being. I value our friendship too much to let this change that.”
When breaking off a relationship, it is important to be kind, understanding, and respectful. Letting the other person down gently and maintaining the friendship is a sign of maturity and shows that you still value the relationship.
Wrap-Up
Dating your best friend may be an excellent idea if at some point you feel something more than just a friendship. It has lots of advantages, including the level of commitment, trust, and knowledge about each other.
But, of course, you should consider all the risks that come packed with this type of relationship (potentially lost friendship, additional pressure, etc). Therefore, it is crucial to talk all these things through before jumping into a serious relationship.
