Online and offline dating can be an extremely awkward experience. This is especially true if it’s your first time or if you’re meeting someone new. But there are a few things to consider to understand the roots of this awkwardness. And more importantly, how you can make the process smoother and more enjoyable for both.
Not an awkward date. Recommendations from Sociologists
Let’s start with the professional point of view.
Presentation
Most sociologists suggest that one of the biggest factors of awkwardness on dates is the pressure to perform and present oneself in the best possible light. This pressure can stem from societal expectations, as well as personal insecurities about one’s appearance, personality, or achievements.
To combat this pressure, professionals in healthy relationships recommend focusing on being genuine and authentic, rather than trying to impress the other person. By being oneself, individuals are more likely to connect with others who share similar values, interests, and goals, and are less likely to feel anxious or self-conscious.
Communication
Another key factor is your communication style. Communication is essential for building trust, establishing common ground, and creating a sense of intimacy. However, communication can also be challenging, especially when two people are trying to get to know each other.
Sociologists recommend that individuals be mindful of their communication style, using open-ended questions, active listening, and non-judgmental responses. Additionally, they suggest that individuals should pay attention to non-verbal cues, such as eye contact, facial expressions, and body language, as these can convey important information about a person’s feelings, intentions, and emotions.
Attitude
Finally, sociologists suggest that individuals should approach dates with a positive and curious attitude. Just check the relationship stats. Instead of focusing on the potential pitfalls or failures of the date, they recommend that individuals view dates as opportunities to learn, grow, and expand their social network. By approaching dates with an open mind and a willingness to learn from the other person, individuals can create a more relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere that is conducive to genuine connection and long-term relationships.
Not an Awkward Date. Tips from Experienced People
Now, let’s talk about your future date and what you should do not to make it awkward. Indeed, if you feel uncomfortable on your date you may think the person is not for you. But in most cases, it’s not true. First dates can go wrong, but certainly, it does not mean you should give up. Here are some rules to make your dating experience smooth and pleasant for both.
Be Yourself
The most important thing you can do when dating is to be yourself. Don’t try to be someone you’re not, or pretend to like things you don’t. If you’re not comfortable with who you are, then you’ll never be able to relax and have a good time. There are a lot of things that pop culture has imposed on us. We should not be their blind followers.
Be Prepared
Before you go on a date, take some time to prepare. Make sure you have dressed appropriately for the occasion, and that you know where you’re going and how to get there. If you’re nervous, practice some deep breathing exercises or meditation beforehand to help calm your nerves. As an alternative option, you start with the online date. This way you can gain your confidence.
Start With Small Talk
Small talk is a great way to break the ice and get to know someone. Ask your date about their hobbies, interests, and what they do for a living. Avoid controversial topics like politics or religion, as these can be divisive and cause tension.
Be a Good Listener
When you’re on a date, make sure you listen to what your date is saying. Don’t interrupt or talk over them, and ask follow-up questions to show that you’re interested. Avoid talking about yourself too much, as this can come across as self-centered. Use some neutral, but interesting conversational topics.
Use Humor
Humor is a great way to lighten the mood and make things less awkward. Don’t be afraid to crack a joke or make a funny observation. Just make sure you’re not offensive or insensitive, and that your jokes are appropriate for the situation.
Focus on the Positive
When you’re on a date, try to focus on the positive aspects of the experience. Don’t dwell on negative thoughts or worry about what could go wrong. Instead, enjoy the moment and appreciate the opportunity to get to know someone new.
Be Open-Minded
Everyone has their quirks and idiosyncrasies. So it’s important to be open-minded when dating. Don’t judge your date too harshly or dismiss them too quickly. Give them a chance to show you who they are and what they’re about.
Stay Calm
If you do start to feel anxious or nervous on a date, try to stay calm. Take deep breaths, focus on your breathing, and remind yourself that it’s okay to feel nervous. Don’t let your anxiety control the situation.
Keep it Light
Dating should be an enjoyable experience, so try to keep things light and relaxed. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself or your date, and don’t try to force a connection that isn’t there. Just enjoy the moment and see where things go.
Follow-Up
After the date, follow up with your date to let them know that you had a good time. If you’re interested in seeing them again, make plans for a second date. If not, be honest and let them know that you didn’t feel a connection. Either way, be respectful and courteous.
What if the date is already awkward? How to fix it?
There are some cases when you did nothing wrong, but the date still became awkward. Don’t panic. There are a few things you can do to try to salvage the situation.
- Acknowledge the awkwardness. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to acknowledge the elephant in the room. You could say something like, “I’m sorry if this feels a bit awkward. I’m feeling a little nervous, but I really want to get to know you better.” This can help break the tension and show that you’re willing to be vulnerable and open with your date.
- Change the setting. If the date is feeling uncomfortable, it might be helpful to change the setting. If you’re at a noisy or crowded restaurant, suggest going for a walk or grabbing a coffee somewhere quieter. A change of scenery can often help to ease the tension and make things feel less awkward.
- Ask open-ended questions. Instead of asking yes or no questions, try to ask open-ended questions that invite conversation and allow your date to share more about themselves. For example, instead of asking, “Do you like sports?”, try asking, “What sports do you enjoy playing or watching?”
- Focus on common interests. If you’re struggling to find things to talk about, try to focus on common interests or hobbies. This can help you connect with your date and find common ground. For example, if you both enjoy hiking, you could ask your date about their favorite hiking spots or trails.
- Use some humor. Humor can be a great way to break the tension and make things feel less awkward. Try cracking a joke or making a funny observation. Just make sure that your humor is appropriate for the situation and doesn’t come across as insensitive.
- Be present. One of the best things you can do to fix an awkward date is to be present at the moment. Put away your phone and focus on your date. Pay attention to what they’re saying and try to engage with them. By being fully present, you can create a more relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere that is conducive to genuine connection.
Important Takeaways
In conclusion, dating doesn’t have to be awkward. By being yourself, preparing beforehand, starting with small talk, being a good listener, using humor, focusing on the positive, being open-minded, staying calm, keeping it light, and following up after the date, you can make the experience more enjoyable and less awkward. Remember, dating is about getting to know someone new, so have fun and enjoy the journey.
You may also be interested in checking the article: how to pick the right dating site for you.
